Mother on Reddit kicks daughter out of the house for not paying rent or finding a job, now feels 'guilty'
The 24-year-old was looking for a job within her degree field that paid well
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A Reddit user is seeking advice after making her daughter move out of the family home due to the young woman's lack of contribution to the household and lack of employment.
Redditor "u/Dapper_End8304" took to the "Am I the a--hole" (AITA) subreddit on July 24 to ask if she and her husband were in the wrong for kicking out their daughter, a 24-year-old who graduated from college a few years ago.
The user explained that the daughter has held multiple part-time jobs since graduating — but never held those jobs for long, as she's always been looking for opportunities with better pay.
REDDIT USER ASKS HER DAUGHTER TO PAY HALF THE MONTHLY RENT AND UTILITIES — FAMILY DRAMA ENSUES
At the end of 2022, the 24-year-old asked her parents if she could move in with them to save money on rent and look for a full-time job in the field in which she earned her college degree, according to the post.
The parents agreed, but never asked her to pay any rent money.
A Reddit user was upset with her daughter (not pictured) after the young woman lived at home rent-free for months while she tried to look for a more stable job. (iStock)
Over six months later, however, the daughter still has not found a stable job — leaving the parents feeling a bit swindled by the turn of events.
"I feel tricked and lied to because surely she would have found a job by now — it’s been months," the user wrote.
The user went on to say that her daughter has never mentioned going on any interviews — and feels as if the young woman has been living there "for months to essentially do nothing."
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For that reason, the user and her husband agreed their daughter should move out and instead live with an aunt, who works in the same field as their child, according to the post.
After a young woman spent months without finding a job, a Reddit user — the mom — kicked her daughter out of the family's home. (iStock)
"Maybe she could learn things that will help her get a job quicker," the user wrote.
Her daughter, however, was reportedly upset by the news — and asked if she could contribute to the household bills and stay in the home, the Reddit user detailed.
But the Reddit user denied the request.
As of now, the daughter has moved into her aunt’s home about an hour away from her parents' home, the woman on Reddit noted.
The daughter claimed she's applied to many open roles — even sending her parents a spreadsheet with the details of her job hunt. (iStock)
The daughter has since sent her parents a spreadsheet showing the jobs she's applied for — including links, dates and application stage updated — according to the post.
The user took to the Reddit thread to ask others if she and her husband were in the wrong on the issue — as their daughter is now refusing to speak to them and the mother wrote that she's been feeling "guilty" about the way things went down.
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Other Reddit users said the parents were indeed wrong — with many people commenting on the extended time it takes to find a job today.
"I spent two years applying for jobs, and nothing because I didn’t have enough experience," one user wrote.
The Reddit user's daughter (not pictured) had multiple part-time jobs prior to living with her parents — but wanted to find one in the field in which she has a degree. So, she lived at home rent-free for a fair amount of time — until her parents kicked her out. (iStock)
"To not note the absolute travesty that is the current job market is a major oversight," another said.
Another person wrote, in part, "You sound entirely unsympathetic to what might be a dismal job market in her field or to an unrecognized deficit in job-hunting skills."
Said this same commenter, "Your assumption that your daughter wasn't really job-hunting hard enough and didn't deserve to be at home may well be baseless. And if you'd wanted her to contribute to the household financially while job-hunting, how about telling her so she could have gotten the [part-time] job, as she offered to do when you threw her out?"
This same individual added, "I think that you might be very deep into the wrong here."
A Reddit user is feeling badly after kicking her daughter (not pictured) out of the house for not finding a full-time job in a reasonable time frame. (iStock)
Said someone else, "I've graduated almost five months ago and haven't found anything in my field so far."
Another commenter shared this personal note: "My adult children can come home any day, for any reason without judgment."
Family coach and attorney Sabrina Shaheen Cronin of Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, told Fox News Digital that the parents made multiple mistakes in their handling of this situation.
Cronin recommended that the parents apologize to their daughter for their behavior.
One big mistake: They gave their daughter no time frame or deadline.
"Despite having no set time frames or requirements to check in and show her progress [to them], they pulled the rug out from under [her] when they thought she was tricking them and lying to them," she said.
Also, the parents should have taken the time to ask their daughter for a job hunt update, Cronin said.
Said a psychologist about the young woman in question, "Maybe she also needs a lesson in managing criticism so that she doesn’t feel so personally offended." (iStock)
"The parents simply did not take the time to get to know [her] and the goings-on in her life, including her job search, before assuming and accusing," she said of the family drama.
Overall, Cronin said the parents should apologize to their daughter for their behavior.
Dr. Jayme Albin, PhD, a clinical psychologist in New York, told Fox News Digital of the situation, "Parenting a child sometimes means delivering not-such-nice messages and the consequences that ago along with it."
"My advice would be to respond to her spreadsheets with positive words to what she’s doing right for now."
Added Dr. Albin, addressing the parents directly, "It seems like, in addition to telling her where she was going wrong, you gave her some concrete advice and steps toward making it happen. But maybe she also needs a lesson in managing criticism so that she doesn’t feel so personally offended."
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She added, "Often, people will complain that their parents told them what to do and how to improve themselves — well, that's what a parent is supposed to do. My advice would be to respond to her spreadsheets with positive words to what she’s doing right for now."
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To date, more than 6,000 people have reacted to the Reddit post, with some 2,000 people sharing comments.
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